In rural America there exists in virtually every town an entity as vital to these communities as any other institution you can think of bar none. They are the rural farmer cooperatives or co-ops for short. They are the farm and ranch source for everything to do with agribusiness. As production capability on the farm and ranch has grown so have these co-ops in terms of the products and services they offer.With annual sales in the millions of dollars some things surely have changed dramatically for the co-ops but nothing will ever change the colorful and at times comical personality of their clientele. The character of these places will be forever rural, plain, and simple. At least on the surface.
Every fall I have the oil changed in my two vehicles putting in lighter weight oil for the cold winter month's. Usually I wait until it really starts to get cold which this year was the first week of November when the weather turned on a dime from unseasonably warm to well just plain cold. I learned fairly quickly that if a person wanted to get their oil changed at the co-op it required an appointment a few days in advance of when it would actually get done. This puzzled me when I went in the first couple of times and was directed to the shop foreman an easy going likeable guy that never seemed to be in a hurry despite the activity going on around the shop. When I asked when I could get my oil changed he looked down at a mostly empty schedule and said how about Tuesday afternoon? This was Thursday. Ok I guess was my reply. As I looked around the shop I noticed a guy I knew that lived across the alley from me that I was aware had a cognitive disability. Gary would be called retarded by most folks. He kept walking around in and out of the shop not really doing anything but appearing to have something important on his mind. I later learned from my neighbor that Gary's uncle Roy used to manage the co-op and allowed Gary to come to the Co-op everyday and allowed him to make the coffee and take out the garbage in exchange for having someplace to go where he felt a part of something. Everybody liked this guy and he knew everyone that came in the door obviously as they kidded him in some way. Gary couldn't really talk clearly so you never knew what exactly he was trying to say but it was meant to be friendly you could tell. This all had been going on for 40 or 50 year's I suppose. As I was leaving through the front of the store I also had to walk by a row of 6 vinyl chairs with chrome arms connected together like a row of movie seats that directly faced the counter as folks came through the front door. These were filled with older gentleman I recognized from around town mostly in their mid 70's to early 80's I'd say. One of them was usually asleep but they all had cups of coffee and would acknowledge everyone that came in the door and start up conversation about one thing or another. I again had asked my neighbor what the deal was with these guys always being at the co-op and he explained in a short sentence." The coffee's free".
After a couple year's of doing business at the co-op for small hardware needs and gasoline I became pretty familiar with the character of this place. Everything you do in a sparsely populated county and small town is made into a social opportunity you see. I was still impatient with the ritual of appointments well in advance of oil changes until one cold winter day my Jeep battery had obviously worn out. I checked the date on the battery and sure enough I was past due for a new one. I called Cal the shop foreman at the co-op to check if he had one that would fit and he said yes. Would you like me to bring it over? I was surprised that he offered but said sure I'd really appreciate that. So 10 minutes later he pulled up with a helper and also pulled the old one out and replaced it with the new battery. No charge for the service! I went back down to settle up shortly thereafter and again thanked him for helping me out. I got the same laid back response I always got but after that I guess it sunk in that there is a way things get done here and you're never going to change it so accept it and plan accordingly! Which I have. I even got to know the "Old Boar's" as I referred to them those being the old timer's that filled the seats every morning and afternoon drinking free coffee till their eye balls float. As for Gary the coffee maker I appreciated how a business and a community takes care of people like this allowing them to be a part of the everyday routine like anybody else.
The last couple year's have seen some "Old Boar's" pass the torch. One being a neighbor a block away and another a nice guy that always taught gun safety to the kids every year. But as new Boar's retire from their jobs or farming careers they quickly fill the open spots. The daily ritual continues sparked by free coffee and a constant flow of people in and out the door giving them an endless list of subjects to analyze and information to absorb and dispense. Anyone that ever said women like to talk and gossip didn't have it right! Men have far more ability to run off at the mouth just to hear themselves talk than any woman I have ever met or known! And the one thing that is like throwing gas on the fire with the "Old Boar's" is free coffee!!
Well back to my annual fall oil changes. I went in to talk to the shop foreman in person because remember it's all about socializing right? "When could I get my Jeep's oil changed?" I asked. He looked at the schedule that didn't have anything on it I could see and surprisingly said "How about this afternoon?" "Great. Why don't you come at 2 o'clock then." He said. Before I left I mentioned that I also needed to get the van's oil changed but that could wait not wanting to appear to demanding. Again I got a surprise when he said "We could do that tomorrow if you want". As I drove home I thought this is like a break through! I seem to be moving up a notch on the priority list here. But what this meant was that I'd have to hang around the co-op two days in a row while my oil was being changed which takes a little more than an hour because that's the way they do it you see. So if you haven't guessed it also meant I'd have to sit with the "Old Boar's" two days in a row for afternoon coffee!!
Day one. I arrive at the set time after driving into the garage and head for the waiting area. The co-op expanded and remodeled their office area this year so the movie seats the Old Boar's used were now moved into what served as a waiting area for shop customers as well as a miscellaneous storage area. It was empty when I walked in but within a few minutes one of the Boar's walked in saying hello and taking a seat with his coffee. I've known Carl since I moved here. He's a friendly guy about 5'5 and pretty thin, kind of fidgety, and maybe one of those people that can't stand being quiet! There was a bag of cake donuts maybe 50 or so on top of a small freezer and Carl said " I wonder if Gary's gonna "Put out" those donuts?" "Don't know" I replied. He then fired the usual questions at me like how was I. What had I been doing and what was I doing here today. You see he had to have some basis for further questioning! It wasn't long after that that Harold walked in yet another club member. He sat down with his coffee after saying Hello to me and then asked. 'Is Gary gonna put out those donuts? Carl said. "Well I was just wondering the same thing." Harold's a nice guy and I know he love's to fish so I asked him how the ice fishing was going and we talked around that for a few minutes while Carl fidgeted. Then Carl's brother,another member, walked in and went right for the donuts opened the bag picked up a donut took a bite and turned around saying. "Anybody want a donut?" They all know I bird hunt full time so the question of how I'd been doing came up. I'm not naive about where any information I might give them would go or be shared with whom so my usual answer of it's been ok I guess not quite as good as last year but if a guy hunts hard enough..... They of course would of loved some hard numbers as to how many birds I shot but I never ever ever tell that to anybody. Truth be told I don't count anyway but some do and then tell about it usually when they've been drinking if you know what I mean.
Day Two. I brought the Van down and drove it in explaining to the shop foreman I had my own oil as I always put in synthetic Mobil One. On I went then to the waiting area. Here sat a room full of the Boar's all with Coffee and Donuts! Carl looked up surprised and said. "So what's wrong today now?" Having seen me here yesterday. "Another oil change." I said. Then his brother came in right after me and looked at me and said. " Well you must be really bored if you're back down here today with us!" " Another oil change" I said." Oh well you can get a cup of coffee if you want it's right out there at the counter" So I sat down in the midst of a full meeting of the afternoon "Boar's Club" listening to topics like who complained the most when they paid their taxes or that the farm bill is actually included in the welfare budget! That was a hoot especially since we were at the farmers co-op drinking free coffee! And then there was quite a discussion on how much profit the guy at the convenience store makes on a gallon of gas. Not to be left out were a couple of anecdotal stories about some wealthy local people who made a fuss over their tax assessments. "It's the ones with the most that always complain the loudest" Somebody said. And a story about a guy who got really upset the other day and almost started crying because another guy yelled at him for repeatedly having to check the cards to make sure the score was correct while playing Pinochle!! I knew all the people that were the subjects of conversation and just marveled at the routines these guys have. I thought I know why they're down here or sitting around playing cards all day. They're wives won't allow them to hang around the house!
Luckily when I got up to check on my van it was just being pulled out of the garage. Windows cleaned interior vacuumed and fresh oil. All was good with my world but the real bonus was a further glimpse into this tight knit German culture. I enjoyed the story telling and the joking. Like they say you can't make this stuff up! The "Old Boar's Club" that is.
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